Reflections on being the father of a boy with autism.
When I came home tonight, C was standing quietly by the window arranging his cars just so. This is nothing new: he often moves objects around, reconfiguring them until they match some picture in his mind.
Evincing a common autism trait, my son’s hands are always on the move, fingers bending or stiffening, balled up or widely splayed, seemingly living a life of their own.
Many children with autism, like C, love to engage with others, but their ASD prevents them from understanding how to do so. Most times C will light up if a child tries to engage with him, but if he’s left … Continue reading
What world does C inhabit? How different is it from my own? How much overlap is there? Can he be in both places at once? Yes, I’m aware that we all perceive the world in different ways, but what is … Continue reading
When C was first diagnosed with ASD, a friend who has faced the same challenge told me that I would come to appreciate the littlest accomplishments just as though they were gigantic.
Last Sunday I took C to an indoor soccer clinic for ASD children. Walking into the large room where the clinic was being held, something struck me: although the kids were generally having a good time, each was mostly in … Continue reading
I saw this bumper sticker today, and it made me smile:
My Autistic Kid Will Lick Your Honor Student
Though I only knew my younger brother for a very short time, I feel his presence in my life even now, nearly four decades later.
After months of searching, C has finally been accepted into a school for children with autism. This comes after being turned down by other schools that couldn’t or wouldn’t deal with his oxygen. (Yes, this is probably discrimination, especially since … Continue reading
Google “autism denial” and you’ll see there are a lot of parents of ASD kids being told by well-meaning if ill-informed friends and family that their children are just “going through a phase.” To those people I’d just like to … Continue reading
Here is a photo that breaks a tiny bit of my heart. It was taken yesterday at a third birthday party for one of the girls in C’s preschool. The children—including C’s twin—were engaged in dancing, singing, pretend play, and … Continue reading
When I was down, my grandmother would tell me, “If you put your troubles in a bag with everyone else’s, you’d probably take your own troubles back out again.” No matter how much I might wish for things to be … Continue reading
The downsides of having a child with two major challenges — autism and a rare lung disease — are obvious. But there is, ironically, one upside to this combination: C’s autism means he never notices the odd (and occasionally hurtful) stares he … Continue reading
When we first began to notice C lining or stacking things in neat rows and piles — toys, blocks, food — we were concerned; it’s one of “the signs” parents are told to watch for, one more thing to worry over. Accompanying … Continue reading
If you’re lucky, you will have a defining moment in your life. It might not seem lucky at the time, but consider living without one. Going on this journey with C has changed me in profound ways, and we’re only … Continue reading