“And you love him?”

File this under Stupid Things People Say

Yesterday my wife hosted a playdate with a couple of neighborhood kids and their nanny. It wasn’t all fun and games: my wife felt the nanny’s eyes on her as she changed C’s diaper (yes, he still wears diapers), and when she was comforting him when he bit his lip (sometimes small things really set him off, while bigger things do not). 

The nanny also asked probing questions: does C ever play with other children? (Well, yes, his brother.) Does he speak much? (When he’s comfortable, you can’t stop him from talking!) Did we do genetic testing when we were pregnant? (Uh…)

But the best was this little gem: “And you love him? You really love him?”

My wife, nearly dumbstruck, answered simply, “Yes, I love him.”

To which the nanny, reflective, replied, “I don’t know if I could. I think I would just cry all the time.”

Sigh.

This is the same nanny who often remarks how sweet C’s twin brother is. It’s true: M is happy, polite, and enthusiastic. He’s genuinely appreciative of the littlest things. Maybe this is what happens when you love a brother whose magnificence seems small to others.

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